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Botswana Alcohol Aids Project

Counter Dependency - A Serious Problem

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The Counter Dependent is the opposite of the Co-Dependent

The Counter-Dependent has experienced a repeated failure of the significant persons in his life being trustworthy.

Chronic and repeated violation of trust by a child sets in motion an inability to trust (without cause) the close and important persons in the Counter Dependents life i.e. girlfriend, wife, parent, etc.

As a child he may have experienced chronic hurt because the adults in his life failed to function responsibly.

if you are counter-dependent you tend to:

-believe that you don't need anything from anyone

-trust no one but yourself

-find it hard to feel close to anyone, even wife and children

-use violence or the threat of violence to force getting your way

-maintain a relationship only with persons who don't demand a lot of closeness from you

-resist making any commitments in a relationship

-resist asking for or showing that you need help

-be out of touch with the depth of your feelings

-deny your feelings to others

-resist showing affection

-not like touching or hugging

The recovery process takes time and effort and assistance.

We believe that you should plan/commit to spend about one month working a concentrated, structured recovery effort for every year you have lived.

Remember, most of these issues begin in childhood and are deeply ingrained in our psyche. Change won't happen by accident. You are not crazy, you can recover if you're willing to do the work.

Call Safe Haven Counseling Center for an appointment at 240-1777.

Get Help at Safe Haven Counseling Center

Learn About Co Dependency

Copyright 2004, Botswana Alcohol Aids Project - Jim MacDonald Webmaster. Contact Jim at djm@paonline.com